Hurry up and Wait

Martha's sister Doreen offered to pick us up for church this morning for the English mass (they are Catholic): 7:30am. We agreed. She was supposed to be at our house at 7, and around twenty after I started to worry. Then Sam reminded me that she probably meant Malawian time. He was right. She came around 7:40. We got to church during the homily. At the end of the mass, the priest was reprimanding people for arriving late.
"This service in in English, so we should do it English style: punctual." (Ahh, I fit in so well in Africa. :) Pretty soon Sam and I are going to learn that if someone says they are coming at 7am, that's what time we are going to get up and start getting ready.

This is quintessential Africa to me: Hurry up and wait. It happened in Mali a lot as well. We would be rushing to get somewhere, to get the whole group out the door, but when we got where we were going it was never ready, never on time. So you rush to wait. Then you rush and wait some more. It feels like a funny little game. Of course I've gotten frustrated with it, but it's a good lesson in patience and acceptance...(One day I asked Sam if he feels like he waits a lot here. He said, remember what the book said? (My Lonely Planet Southern Africa) bring your flexibility).

It's also comical to me that I walk fast here!! I know various friends and family members are not believing this, because I'm always lagging behind, trying to catch up.But in Malawi people saunter. This is the normal way of walking. Even when they are late they saunter! And I'm walking even faster. Tebogo will often call me back, and I'll be wondering why I'm walking ahead of them. She'll remind me that I'm in Malawi and to walk like a Malawian. I tell her my fast is slow in America! She can't believe it!

It's interesting though, because when I slow down to walk with them and not be rude, I find myself taking a breath and relaxing a bit.

Back to church...the women sat on one side and the men on the other! I don't know why. The music was just gorgeous, A Capella singing. There are often times I will hear music coming out a church and it's so beautiful. The pews were wooden, not polished, and the kneelers not padded. It made me think of our level of comfort in the U.S.

Afterwards Doreen had us over for breakfast with her family: real breakfast! I was rejoicing. Eggs, TOASTED bread and porridge with ground nuts (peanuts), tea with boiled milk...Her family is as sweet as ever...her Dad told us that their home is our home. We can come whenever we want.

It was interesting because even though they are an apparently well to do family for Malawian standards--in my opinion--both parents are college educated and have very good jobs--the mother and the daughters still do the work around the house. The mother made breakfast, set the table, cleared the table and once we took care of the dishes she was on to making lunch! The whole time while the Dad sat on the couch watching TV and entertaining us...

The least I was allowed to do was dry the dishes. Doreen handed me a rag and asked if I knew how to do it. Of course I replied! She asked if we have a house boy or servants at our house. (They have a house boy.) I was quite shocked and tried to explain the class system in the U.S. She seemed surprised to hear that I do housework myself.

Why would I classify their family as well-to-do? Of course the house boy, the fact that they have cars and a nice television, and that all their children go to college.